Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. On this 29th January 2007, it's officially 10th year of my recovery process, but I will always remember my history with gambling addiction.
I lost my loved ones, my jobs, my honour, everything except my marriage; It took up my finances, and I almost killed myself. On the other hand, I was also having unidentified mental & emotional health problems and disorders I never knew about until 2002.
I originated from the profundities of hellfire, sadness, and gloom.
I opened my eyes in a room at the hospital, I could feel my wrist wrapped up in bandages, I heard people talking about knives, but I lost conscious again. The only thing I can recall was everything turning blank. At present I understand it was a total mind and body collapse. A mental/emotional blackout. After that, I went to see a dependence/emotional crisis centre.
I was under suicide supervision the first days in the clinic. After a little while, I got help from the psychiatrist there. And of course, since I was also a compulsive gambler, I needed extra treatment. For my gambling addiction, I got help from an addictions counsellor.
I tried quitting gambling without external help, but it was futile instead I had delved more into it; worse still, I even gambled when in rehab. I suppose I had not arrived underneath still.
Regardless of my extended stay in rehab and my several efforts to end it all.
it's known as DEPENDENCE It is an infection that is difficult to overcome. Be that as it may, conceivable. And this wasn't the final moment I would work this circuit.
Not as a result of actively gambling, due to the financial constraints from this malady, I had another self-destruction trial in 2006 as it appeared I had not performed enough work in all areas of recuperation, including my financial stock-list.
Principal step? Draft out a roadmap to your desired wellbeing. Some years later, I envied those who had a normal healthy life, so I quit taking my prescriptions which served to treat my psychological problems. I tried to survive without the pills and treatment sessions, I thought my sickness was caused by my gambling addiction that leads to PTSD, manic depression, mild mania anxiety and bipolar insomnia cycles and OCD. Sadly, in a matter of weeks, I was in a state of despair and wanted to kill myself. My response? I consumed all my meds at ago. I had reached to that bad, black hole of gloom once again.
I was taken back to the remedial centre where I stayed for more than two weeks amidst intense alertness by my loved ones and those in charge to prevent me from doing the worse.
When they sent me home that time, I had the lessons that I need to be discipline in taking my meds so my mental illness will not bother me again and it stays under control, they called my situation as "dual diagnosis".
Recovery with even bad experiences, coupled with some "faith" can reveal many life lessons in recovery to us. Too bad if I did not get any lessons, I won't see how much I changed in life. Notwithstanding when you are not taking part in your inclination of enslavement, we can at present have issues emerge and life challenges in recuperation, so being readied is imperative.
In the first place, the propensities and practices that we learn and get inside any dependence and "the cycle" of any habit should be hindered and taken away for us to have a shot at a genuine fair recuperation. Balance is the key in your recuperation way also. Acknowledge the necessary skills and tools in the therapy to treat your addiction, don't give any space in you for making excuses, refusal, and others.
Second, know that recovery is not an instant process. It is as necessary to agree as Step one, complete surrender.
What's more, third, having a firm 'Backslide Prevention Plan' is an absolute necessity for any individual who comes into recuperation and needs it long haul. We all understand that life situations take place. These occurrences are not just catastrophic, but there are also joyful activities.
I think that is the reason behind the question asked by Gamblers Anonymous in our book called "The 20 Questions" to detect whether you have a gambling problem. The question number 19: "Did you ever have an urge to celebrate any good fortune by a few hours of gambling?" YES! For me, even when things wonderful took place, I would need to jubilee by going purportedly to have some "fun" gambling. Nonetheless, these questions were clearly not effective since my addiction was looking grave.
I utilized my gatherings and links there for my help and listening to other similar-minded dependents and have my thoughts of how subtle and crafty this ailment is. And GA made me know how necessary it is to be available for others through recovery service as others were there for me when I was a newcomer.
People need to start opening their minds and be reminded about this subtle addiction. We should destroy the "myths" about it. It is one approach to smash the "shame" around it, and around the individuals who live double analysed too. It is undeniable that mental issues in recovery is a tough way to face, but I hope my story can be a light in the darkness for some people that almost lose their strength and hope that recovery can actually work. It is still possible for patients to have beautiful, happy live ahead.